Submitted to NewsDakota.com by Lucy Wyndham
About half of voters (49%) say they have given a lot of thought to the candidates who are running in the 2024 presidential election, according to research from the Pew Research Center. The survey also revealed that most voters say that if it were up to them, they would replace at least one of the two likely nominees (Joe Biden and Donald Trump) — about half say they’d replace both Biden and Trump on the ballot. Political discord surrounding the upcoming election is palpable — and resulting in turbulent family relationships for families throughout the nation. For North Dakotans, differing opinions within the family don’t have to be intimidating, whether the choice is to avoid the topic altogether or utilize smart conversational strategies.
Tension signals a blast from the past
The upcoming 2024 presidential election is “likely to face a complicated array of threats,” according to one ABC News article, including those such as physical violence, highlights a federal assessment. “The 2024 race has been marked by increasingly toxic rhetoric, the intermingling of inflammatory camping trail hyperbole and courtroom theatrics as former President Donald Trump faces four criminal trials, and the continued conflicts in the Middle East and Ukraine.” Further concerns, such as misinformation, disinformation, and hate speech online further fuel the fire. North Dakota is expected to be won by the Republican candidate in this year’s presidential election. Donald Trump won the state Republican presidential caucuses in early March — while the state does skew red, however, there is a democratic presence within the state as well.
The upcoming election has also brought increased tension in regard to personal relationships, with politics becoming an increasingly tough discussion when individuals possess differing opinions regarding candidates, values, and other political topics. A 2024 PBS post highlights the fact that politics have become increasingly personal. Elana, a Democratic voter, notes: “I think that politics weren’t discussed as intensely, at least in my experience, before the 2016 election.” For some, political discord has led to shouting matches, divorce, and a general struggle to maintain relationships. Many have cut off family members altogether.
A 2020 NPR article explores the tension that the last election brought, particularly in regard to personal relationships. “I hate to say it because family is everything,” said Ricardo Deforest of Tampa, Florida, who had cut off his cousins due to political discord at the time. “I disowned them. In my mind they’re not family anymore.” Deforest is far from being the only one that experienced family turmoil due to the political events of 2020. NPR cites Jocelyn Kiley, associate director of research at the Pew Research Center, who said that political polarization at the time was more intense than at any point in modern history — nearly 80% of Americans had “just a few” or no friends at all across the aisle, according to Pew. “Democrats are a little bit more likely to say they’d end a friendship,” Kiley pointed out. “But Republicans may be less likely to say they have friends on the other side. So it may not be all that differential.”
The advantages of avoiding political conversation
The team at CoolOldGames.com explored the state of family disputes in the U.S., and interviewed more than 40 leading experts that specialize in diverse fields such as psychology and family law. Key findings of the research found that politics is a more divisive topic in the United States today than it ever has been, particularly within families. Of the 32 contributors who mentioned politics, 25 believe it has become “significantly more divisive in recent times.” Many recommend that politics shouldn’t be discussed at all in family settings. Avoiding the topic can be key to avoiding tension during family gatherings, as fights over political differences can bring to light value differences, unresolved issues, unrealistic expectations, and past hurts, all of which are among the primary causes of family disputes, according to experts.
It’s essential to note that family disputes — even over matters that seem trivial — can have a lasting impact, and have the potential to last anywhere from 15 years to a lifetime, according to 23 of the 26 experts who commented on the length of disputes. If avoiding the subject entirely isn’t possible, a productive (and unheated) conversation doesn’t have to be impossible. Verywell Family highlights several tips when aiming to successfully maneuver the topic, including staying calm and using humor wisely, to highlight a few. Maintaining an open mind is another way to avoid an argument. “Coming into the conversation from a position of humidity and open-mindedness will give you a better chance of discussing issues constructively, without dissolving into an argument,” the article advises, going on to point out that in doing so, it will increase the chances of the other person listening to what is being said.
A look at the bright side
Political discord can present challenges for American families in North Dakota and throughout the U.S., though it doesn’t have to ruin relationships. A 2021 article from the Institute for Family Studies (IFS) by Samuel Abrams explores the outcomes of political issues on family relationships, citing data from the American National Election Study. The study is a seven-decade-long survey regarding campaigns and elections, and revealed that narratives about family political turmoil “likely have been vastly overstated.” The study posed the question: “In the past four years, how much have political differences hurt your relationships with family members?” According to the results, not even 3% of Americans responded that their familial relationship were hurt ‘a great deal’ by political differences, with only 3% reporting that they were hurt ‘a lot.’ The IFS article goes on to note: “Although 10% of the sample reported moderate amount of harm to their family relationships due to political differences, the overwhelming majority held that the consequences of these differences were minimal: 18% said a little and 66% said not at all.”
Tension as a result of political discord is nothing new, with the upcoming election in November reminiscent of the 2020 election. For North Dakota families piloting differences in political opinion, avoiding the topic or implementing strategies to aid the conversation may prove to be ideal.